Hollow
by Kinoth
Summary: What happened to turn the Boy-Who-Lived into this cold, calculating shell? And what can Tonks do to save him? Or can he be saved?
1. Default Chapter

Wednesday mornings during the summer meant one thing at 4 Privet Drive- Harry needed to tend to the lawn. Even though the Dursley's were off tending to Aunt Marge in the hospital, the raven-haired Boy-Who-Lived walked out at nine a.m. sharp, retrieved the mower and began. It was readily apparent why everyone else's yards looked crummy- a heat wave made an effective deterrent to doing yardwork, as within minutes he was sweating rivers despite the early hour.

As Harry let the mower die about an hour later he became aware that the tingling he felt wasn't just the vibration of the mower- someone was watching him, and he would wager it was someone magical. Toweling himself off with his shirt, he casually turned and scanned, noticing a grey-haired head shuffling past the hedgerows next door. She came in to view, but other than looking like every tweed-clad old British lady in the Kingdom, there was something familiar-

-the old woman almost tripped over nothing on the sidewalk, but righted herself with spry steps that belied her age-

-yes, there was something familiar about her.

The dowager brushed off the front of her jacket and looked up at him with eyes too young to be in such an old face. She smiled at him, exposing her yellowed and cracked teeth and croaked at him.

"If'n I were ten years younger sonny-"

Harry tried to force a smile onto his face, but only a flicker of it showed.

"Tonks."

The young Auror cocked her disguised head at him.

"Are you alright, Harry?"

"Not as well as I could be." He murmured. "Why don't you head inside to change into someone more comfortable? I will put the mower away and be right in."

Tonks flashed him another view of the yellow, moldering pillars of her teeth.

"'ve got to finish my rounds here, Harry. 'sides, it'd look suspicious if you invited a lady in, wouldn't it?" Her laugh was the clacking of age-roughened stones. "Privet'd be scandalized if you they thought you liked older women, anyhow."

Harry shook his head but didn't answer as he walked the mower back to the shed, though an idle thought tickled his mind. _I hope time has been more kind to the _real_ Margaret Thatcher._

--

Harry stepped into his room still dripping from the shower and trying to tuck in the corner of his ratty grey towel around his waist as he headed to the trunk that contained his clothes. Without wearing his glasses he didn't notice the new occupant of his room until the low, sultry utterance of a growl and a "Hel-_lo_ Harry!" caused him to spin, arm pointed at the fuzzily-shaped blob he thought was the intruder. He felt a fluttering that he ignored.

"Who are you-"

"Holy hell Harry! Cover that beast up!"

Jamming his glasses onto his face rather than threatening the "intruder" with them allowed him to see Tonks, wide-eyed and red-cheeked, staring at him. He tracked her gaze and discovered that the flutter he had felt had been his towel against his legs, not a surge of adrenaline through his veins. He knew his face should be flaming red, but instead of sputtering, he calmly turned and fetched a pair of boxers from the open trunk and slid them up his legs before turning to face the Metamorphmagus. Tonks gaped at him for a moment longer before bolting from the bed and heading downstairs, blurting out that she'd be in the kitchen, never meeting his eyes. Harry paused and looked at the door for a moment before continuing to dress. There would be questions once she saw what lay downstairs.

--

_He coughed, hands spread and supporting him on the carpet, tears and mucus oozing from his nose and down his throat. He felt another oddly pleasurable tingle as the magic lashed the walls, like a piece of his soul had detached and smashed whatever was in its way._

-You never forget the faces that haunt you

Awake or asleep, I know you can't tell-

_Harry wasn't sure when he had started screaming, but the horrid, wet gurgling that erupted from his mouth stopped only long enough for him to suck a ragged breath before he was keening again was beyond conscious control. After the third repetition of the song his arms were trembling and he was dizzy from lack of breath. His chest hitched as his lungs tried to claw precious oxygen through the slime that blocked his throat, and he collapsed face down in the berber and crushed his nose before slumping to his side. _

-Like someone pushes a blade through your mind

There on the edge where no-one will find you

Still hearing them laugh-

_Harry scrabbled for his legs and folded himself into a fetal ball and rocked on the floor. The slight boy felt the crest of a wave of magical force trying to escape, causing his hair to stand on end. The small part of his mind that was still sane screamed as it tried to impose order amongst the chaos in his head. Without conscious realization, Harry slammed his head against his knees violently, causing his eyes to unfocus farther. A second sharp blow, and the Boy-Who-Lived lay on the carpet amongst the destruction with blood and snot from his nose pooling around his head, a soft wheezing the only sound of life._

--

A few minutes later a fully dressed Harry joined Tonks at gazing at the field of destruction that used to be the Dursley's living room. Taking in the pile of ash that used to be a couch, the blast pit that was the fireplace, and the army of melted ceramic pools that had been pieces of bric-a-brac. Tonks turned to him as he walked through the door, but her eyes slid off his, and she ended up speaking to his shoulder.

"What the hell happened here?"

Harry's green eyes gleamed as he gazed at his reflection in the pooled remains of a silver tea set.

"I did."

"Whaddya mean by-"

"You didn't know about this? I assumed that was why Dumbledore sent you."

The metamorphmagus shook her now short, purple hair.

"I don't think anyone had a clue, Harry. I'm on my normal patrol time, and no one said anything."

The black haired boy shaded his eyes with his fringe.

"So that explains why I don't have an owl from the Ministry."

"Well, you damn well should have gotten one when you started casting-"

"I didn't."

Tonks looked a bit put out with how the conversation was flowing, and finally looked into Harry's eyes for a moment.

"You didn't _what, _dammit!"

The skinny boy shrugged slightly. "Didn't cast spells. I-," Here he paused, though his voice stayed the same even, slightly cool timbre it had been throughout the conversation, "had some issues and things got.... away from me. Accidental magic, wandless magic, whatever you want to call it." He gestured towards the destruction, contained neatly within the confines of the room.

The junior Auror gaped at the boy next to her. "Well no wonder we didn't sense anything! Wandless magic like that isn't detectable except in very specific circumstances." She peered at the boy. "Is all this why we haven't seen you outside recently?"

Harry simply ignored her question by asking one of his own. "If wandless magic isn't detectable, how did Fudge know about Aunt Marge in the summer before third year?"

Tonks blinked. "Well, you're the only wizard in Little Winging, and anyhow, the old hag was screeching your name while they were deflating her."

Harry bobbed his head noncommittally at that, taking a step towards an end table with a piece missing as if it had never existed. He felt Tonks' glare tingle along the back of his neck, then lifted his head calmly to watch as she stomped in front of him and glowered, hands on hips.

"What the hell is your problem, Potter? You're acting like I'm barely even here, cutting me off, acting as if you're a fuckin' Malfoy, you are!"

Despite her anger, the metamorphmagus flinched when Harry focused his eyes on hers fully. Even though the boy had to look up slightly to meet her gaze, she felt dwarfed by what lurked behind that viridian surface. She expected many things after comparing him to a Malfoy- something she figured would set his blood ablaze after overhearing some of his friend's conversations- but the boy's face was impassively calm. After a minute's pause, Harry spoke.

"I don't know how to explain in a way that you will understand. Even I cannot comprehend why I feel this way." His words were carefully enunciated, frosty and exact without being insulting. "At times it seems as though I've wept myself hollow and cannot _feel_ anymore. Or perhaps I've simply divorced myself from my emotions. I can smile, I can laugh, I can frown, I can scowl, but they are simply masks I wear for a moment, discarded as easily as they are donned. When I was naked in front of you, I knew I should be embarrassed- what teenager shouldn't be, in front of an attractive woman?- but it was if I simply noted it as an observer, not felt it." Again he paused, as if to give her a moment to collect he thoughts. "Perhaps my hollowness with heal with time. I do not know, and cannot force myself to care." He turned slowly to present his profile, breaking the gaze that had held her captive.

"Tonks, promise me that you will assist me this summer, and help me acquire the information I will need to destroy Voldemort."

"Harry," Tonks rasped, obviously trying to adjust to the shift in the conversation, "you've done your part, you don't need to defeat You-Know-Who, it's the Order's job!" She grasped the baggy sleeve of his hand-me-down shirt as if you reassure him.

Harry continued staring at an ice-encased lamp lying in a puddle of slowly-expanding water.

"You are wrong. Dumbledore may not have appraised you of this, but it _is_ my job. It is my duty. It is my- _destiny_." Harry turned to her, and his hair could not hide the scar standing in relief on his forehead. "I will not give you the full details now, as it is not safe even for an Auror to know this. I will only tell you if I know I can trust you, Nymphadora Tonks, and I would like to trust you, and have you trust me not to lie to you." Harry shook his head gravely. "However, I understand that to believe me now would involve a work of faith- something I have little of at the moment- and so instead I will ask this of you:"

The iciness Harry exuded increased slightly, though he still seemed unnaturally calm and detached from reality. Tonks flickered her eyes over Harry's face, and found herself pinned in place, prey before a predator. "Ask Dumbledore about the contents of the Prophecy. Ask him of my role in all of this. Ask him why I have lived with a physically and mentally abusive family that provides me only with the minimum necessary to live. Ask him why I must stay here every summer, living on cold tinned soup, locked in my room. Ask him about the bars on the window and living in a cupboard." Voice still level, he raised his right hand, showing Tonks the scars. "Inquire if he knew and stopped the Inquisitor's tortures of children. Ask if he was there as a counselor when I needed the help most last year. Have him explain his reasoning for having Severus Snape teach me Occlumency by brutalizing my mind. And then, hearken as to the wisdom of Dumbledore, telling a fifteen-year-old boy all of this on the eve of his godfather's death, and all because he loved me.

So speak to the head of your Order. When you return, you will either know my secrets or you will see Dumbledore keeping his. And should you wish, I will lay out every truth for you to see. Then you can decide if you wish to assist me in bringing down a Dark Lord. I will ask of nothing further of you before then."

Turning from Tonks' statue-still form, Harry disappeared upstairs at the sound of arriving owl post. Shortly afterwards he returned and began to read at the dining room table, paging though the parchment scrolls without comment or change of expression, save a slight tremor in his cheek. He seemed oblivious to the Auror's tentative approach, not acknowledging when she sat. Placing the stack of letters in the middle of the table, Harry looked up.

"So, wandless magic is generally undetectable?"

Tonks was again rendered speechless by the odd change of subject, but gamely managed to answer in the affirmative with only a slight pause.

The pale face of the Boy-Who-Lived nodded slowly in acknowledgement and thought.

"So even with all the extra wards that have been erected around this place, no one detected anything unusual..."

"Well, I don't know a lot about the wards here, Harry. Dumbledore may be the only person who knows everything about what's been cast here."

Harry _hmm_ed thoughtfully, but chose not to comment on Dumbledore's all-knowingness as he rose and began busying himself in the kitchen. While he was busy, Tonks caught herself paging though Harry's correspondence with a practiced Auror eye and became disgusted at the vapidness that the Weasleys and even Hermione showed. _It'll be okay Harry, it's not your fault Harry, how about them Cannons, Harry, hope you're doing well._ Mindless, the lot of them. No one would be 'doing well' after their godfather died. She was still hurting herself though they hadn't known each other well, and her mother still had a haunted look in her eyes as she would recall memories of Sirius in happier times.

There were notes from schoolmates about how well they thought they would do on O.W.Ls, but two letters stood out from the rest. The first, from a Luna Lovegood, read like a fever dream. Right from the _Salutations and felicitations Harry, _she dropped into talking about Crumpet-Horny Snackcakes, or something similar. The girl's handwriting was as loopy as the author, obviously, and after a bit of straining her eyes and brain at the stream-of-consciousness writing, she gave up and slid it back into the pile.

The second letter was from Remus Lupin, and this time after the first line she was close to crying. For all that people believed werewolves were dark creatures, the most outstanding feature of Remus was his poet's soul and kind heart. Even though the man had been hit hard by Sirius' loss, perhaps as hard as Harry himself had been, Remus offered everything of himself to try and heal the wounds he believed Harry was feeling. The pages in front of her offered the younger man a balm for his soul, telling him how much Sirius loved him, and how he wouldn't want Harry to grieve overlong, offering stories of their exploits and memories of happier times.

Tonks was sure that the crack in the coldness Harry had shown was because of Remus' letter, and it gave her hope that the apparent savior of the Wizarding World would once again smile his brilliant smile and replace the almost-automation that intimidated the young Auror. Drying her eyes quickly, she placed the documents back as she found them and stared at the ruins of Harry's grief until a plate was set in front of her.

Her lunch companion wasn't much for conversation, and she instead studied him as he ate. There was something different about the way he walked, the way he held himself that told her that besides this _hollowness_ he had spoken of, something had changed in the mind of the Boy-Who-Lived. Something about him was different and more vibrant, turning a pale, thin boy in a fat boy's castoffs into a figure of power. She blinked again, and he was Harry, just Harry. Crossing her fingers mentally, she tried a conversational gambit.

"So Harry, any letters from girlfriends?" She fluttered her eyelashes innocently at him, aware that he was probably seeing right through her.

"Three, actually." Harry's green eyes glittered as he placed the sandwich down on his plate. "I assume you are not counting casual acquaintances."

The boy wasn't going to make things any easier on her, was he? "So you're playing them all off each other? Rather studly of you, isn't it?"

Harry leaned back in his chair slightly, straightening his shoulders. "No, they all know about each other. In fact, they are all friendly with each other, if not overly so." He cocked his head slightly, and his voice deepened to a smoky baritone "Actually, Luna was just saying how she missed Hermione and I warming her bed. She even started the letter out _Dearest Lover, I am _so_ horny for-"_

Tonks sputtered indignantly, "No she didn't, she said-" The spiky-haired woman clapped both hands over her mouth as Harry raised an eyebrow.

"Oh? Well, my dearest girlfriend, please tell me what Luna said, then."

The junior Auror mumbled something that caused a miniscule quirk of Harry's lips.

"I believe she was mentioning the Crumple-Horned Snorkack, not snackcake. And Tonks, I understand if you need to read my correspondence and report back to the Order, but you could simply ask me, and I will let you read it." He looked at her evenly, without a hint of anger. "No secrets."

Bowing her head to stare at her plate, Tonks wondered at the Harry she just saw. There was a sense of humor there, but the calm and reserve he had shown all day was there as well. Something had changed the young Mister Potter, and perhaps she could find out what.

Soon after, lunch came to an end and Tonks eyed the time. "I'd like to get this mess cleaned up Harry, but I get off shift now and there's an Order meeting shortly I'll need to be at."

Harry shook his head slightly as he took her plate to the kitchen. "The Dursleys will be gone for at least one more week, giving me time to clean what I can. Go to the meeting, and we can talk about the damage I've done at some other time."

"Tomorrow, Harry. I'll be here in the morning, as it's my day off, and I'll repair what I can, and we can... talk."

Returning from placing the dishes in the sink, he extended a hand to the seated woman. Taking the offered hand, Tonks stood from the table, and Harry placed his hands on her shoulders. "Thank you for treating me like an adult, Tonks. I apologize for using your full name earlier, as I know you dislike it." Dropping his hands, he glided towards the front door, Tonks following behind, bemused.

After the door closed behind her, Tonks strolled down to Arabella's house to Floo out. Away from Harry's unconsciously intimidating presence, she decided that she would do as he asked, not because he was right, necessarily, but because he needed someone to believe him.

He also needed a good cheering up, and who better to provide it than someone he could talk to? _Dearest girlfriend_ indeed.

--

After securing the door, Harry gracefully swept back into the Dursley's living room and surveyed the wreckage. He strode to a ceramic figure laying in pieces, staring sightlessly at the wall. He regarded the thing for a moment before holding out one hand like a benediction, furrowing his brow and commanding _"Reparo!"_

--

Author's Notes:

Spawned out of writer's block, here's a second story. This time, I have already started on the second chapter (and have five chapters of notes), rather than notes but no story, as with Bonds of Love.

Yes, Harry is acting odd. Yes, there is an odd section in the middle of the story. More will be explained next chapter- or perhaps not, as Harry is currently unconsious in said chapter.

Lyrics are © VNV Nation 2001


	2. Chapter 2

A worried Nymphadora Tonks knocked for the fifth time on the door of #4 Privet Drive. _Another thirty seconds and I'm breaking the door down. Dammit Harry!_

As if summoned by her mental cry, the lock clicked and she was presented with a zombified version of the Boy-Who-Lived. Harry's face was still set in an unnaturally calm mask, though the emerald eyes were dulled from lack of sleep and his ink-dark hair looked like the aftermath of a tornado. He regarded her a bit sleepily, the chill aura that had surrounded him yesterday nonexistent though he looked no happier or more personable. _Or maybe he's just not a morning person._

After a hardly-welcoming noise that might have been a greeting, Harry wandered back towards the kitchen. Shutting the door behind her, Tonks followed and slumped down in the same seat as yesterday. Her professional eye noted that Harry's gait was less fluid, and she bet the boy hadn't slept a bit. She nodded to him as he offered a cup of tea, and watched as he slid his glasses up to perch on his head while he scrubbed the sleep from his eyes with the heels of his hands. Finally though, Harry seemed to pull himself together and gave the now-blonde Auror a searching look. "So, no one detected my magic?"

Tonks rolled her eyes dramatically and sighed. _Already with the questions._ "No Harry. Despite all the wards on this place they still cannot detect wandless magic for some reason. McG talked my ear off about wards and how they detect magic use. Apparently if you don't use a wand, it can't be tracked." She sipped at her tea thoughtfully- _just the way I like it, how'd he know? _"So no one detected your... issues."

There was a curve to Harry's lips that couldn't quite be termed a smile. He raised a finger to point at the living room. "So no one detected me using magic _last night?_"

Turning her head, Tonks froze, and then whirled to her feet, sweeping the long tresses she wore back into a short spiky style to keep the hair from her eyes.

There were still a few items of interest- the block of unmelting ice-encased lamp and the three-legged table- but otherwise the room had the same surgically-clean feel, same tacky bric-a-brac, same horrible upholstery on the couch. Blinking, she whirled back to the Boy-Who-Lived, who met her gaze placidly as he sipped his tea.

"How- what- how?" She finally had to settle for flapping her arms at the spectacle behind her.

Harry slowly gained his feet with a regal grace before finishing his drink and calmly dropping the teacup from his hand. Tonks jumped slightly as the porcelain shattered on the linoleum and couldn't help but stare as he knelt and placed a hand over the remains, furrowed his brow and with a fierce _"Reparo!",_ watched as the shards melted and pooled together into a blue and white puddle before reforming back into the teacup he had dropped. Picking up the cup, Harry tossed it to the stunned junior Auror. Tonks bobbled it a few times before losing her grip and letting the cup plunge to the floor.

_"Accio!"_

Emerald eyes gleamed as the cup settled into his outstretched hand. "I had not tried that yet." He mused softly. Glancing up at Tonks, who was still looking for the broken teacup at her feet and coughed into his hand. As she boggled at the cup he showed her, he spoke.

"I will answer your earlier questions with a question. Guess who got an hour's worth of sleep and learned some wandless magic last night?"

Wincing, Tonks pulled her wand from a specially-sewn pocket in her cargo shorts. "How about I'll thaw out the lamp and fix the table and you sit and have another cup of tea before you collapse on me?"

Harry nodded gravely, ignoring Tonks' eye-roll as both suited word to deed.

--

"There, done." Tonks plugged the lamp in and switched it on to make sure it worked. She turned to walk back to the table, but stopped when Harry stood once again, hand out in a stopping gesture.

"Wait, I want to try something. May I try an _expelliarmus_ on you?"

"You sure about that?"

"Yes. I need to test the limits of what I can do."

Warily, Tonks nodded, but not before arranging a chair to fall into and holding her wand loosely. Harry stood in the kitchen and aimed, palm pointing at the young Auror. Squinting in concentration, Harry bellowed, _"Expelliarmus!"_

Instead of the jet of light and force that both wizard and witch expected, a burst of light flared from Harry's hand as blood and flesh sprayed across the room, one chunk hitting Tonks' cheek with a wet _splat._

Harry stared at his bloody hand questioningly for a moment before his knees gave out and he fell, cradling his wounded limb to his chest and breathing loudly through gritted teeth. The sharp sound of his knees hitting the floor snapped Tonks out of her daze and her Auror training kicked in. She covered the distance between them in a flash and was prying his left hand loose of its grip on his right arm so she would get to the bleeding wound.

"Oh _shit_ Harry! No, let me see your hand, I need to cast spells on it!"

The green-eyed wizard blinked at her slowly, but allowed her to examine the hand. The palm had been blasted away, leaving a ragged hole from which bone gleamed dully through the welling blood.

A small portion of her mind thanked whoever was listening that battlefield healing was something she was skilled in. One blood-staunching spell and a powerful scabbing charm later, Harry's horrible bleeding had slowed temporarily, with sluggish tendrils of blood escaping from the fragile shield the scab had created over his hand.

Tonks manhandled Harry over to the couch in the living room, and fumbled a catch open on the cargo shorts she wore. _C'mon, gotta work before he goes into worse shock._ _Where is it-there!_

Pulling out a small box the size of a deck of cards, she quickly expanded it into the full-sized Ministry Auror Potion Kit and began pulling out vials. Harry was unresisting as she handed him an uncorked container and bade him drink. As soon as the last drops of the murky-green potion drained down his throat, the wounded boy held up his good hand and croaked "Stop. I can feel it working"

"Harry, you need to take a second potion." Tonks argued worriedly.

The raven-haired boy shook his head forcefully, though his eyes were still unfocused. "No, I need a blood-replenishment potion and rest, nothing else." Tonks glared at him, but Harry's eyes snapped back into focus long enough for his chilly gaze to beat back her arguments.

"Goddammit Harry!" she snapped, but grudgingly, the Auror handed him a different vial that was unceremoniously drained.

Harry closed his eyes and hummed thoughtfully, then reopened his eyes to gaze at Tonks.

"I need sleep and I cannot make it up the stairs."

Giving the boy a worried smile, Tonks responded, "I'll take care of you, Harry. Don't worry."

The Boy-Who-Lived's viridian eyes flashed and he gave her that ghost of a smile that was gone even as it registered. "I know you will. Now, please take me to bed, Tonks."

The dark-haired Auror blinked in shock, her face reddening and the roots of her hair lightening to crimson before she noticed that after his declaration, Harry had passed out on the couch. For a moment she could not help but stare, feeling urges to kiss him, slap him, or pour more potions down his throat. Instead, she cast a monitoring charm and sighed when it showed he was simply asleep. Grabbing her wand, she _Mobilicorpus_ed Harry up to his room.

Once Harry was settled in his bed, Tonks returned to the first floor and proceeded to clean the blood off the walls, floor and furniture- she had to use the slightly-more-powerful _Scourgify Sanguinis_ to get the quickly-congealing puddles of blood out of the carpet fibers, and even with a specialized spell it took multiple castings to return everything to normal.

"Finally," she sighed as she trudged up to check in on the Boy-Who-Lived. She stopped on the stairs as a tingle raced down her spine. The last time she had felt something like that- _Oh God, I can't lose another one! _

Taking the rest of the stairs two at a time, she barreled down the hall and swung an arm out to whirl around the doorframe. She turned on the threshold to see the bed and stopped as the air grew thick and the tingle flared into a full-body shudder.

Harry was propped up with a pillow, and at some point he had moved his now-bandaged arm into his lap- all of that seemed perfectly innocuous. What had sent shivers down her spine was the feeling of power that hung like a thick mist in the room- it was so pervasive it had taken on physical form and almost caused the witch to gag. She had felt heavy magical residue like this before- generally after pitched battles with many combatants in a closed space- and had heard stories of huge battles where the magic became physical- huge battles like the ones that brought about Grindlewald's downfall. It was impossible that one person could generate this much power leakage, much less someone who was supposed to be unconscious from blood loss!

Tonks moved back down the hallway a bit, stumbling over her own feet before she put enough space between Harry's room and herself that the heavy atmosphere subsided. Taking a few cleansing breaths, she noticed that a hallway light, mounted in a wall sconce was flickering- she wondered if the electricity running through the walls was interacting with the magic residue. Breathing in deeply, the Auror plunged back into the boy's room, feeling almost like she was pushing through gauzy curtains- it didn't really impede her progress, but there was something besides air resisting her. As long as she held her breath, however, she didn't choke.

At his bedside, Tonks cast another monitoring charm and started in surprise as it fizzled and died. Focusing herself, she cast again and watched as the Boy-Who-Lived's body took on colorations that showed his health. Rather than springing into existence, she noted that the spell fought its way down his body slowly, taking a full minute to accomplish what generally happened within a second. The charm she used showed damage as colors- the red end of the spectrum was healthy flesh, and as the colors moved towards purple the damage increased. Harry's hand had been a deep blue-green when she had first checked him downstairs. Now the wound was a bright yellow with an orange corona- and most of his lost blood seemed to be replenished as well. Potions simply didn't work that fast on serious damage!

Stopping the charm the young Auror sagged and sat on the bed- it had taken much more out of her to maintain the spell than she thought. Wiping the light sweat that sprung up on her brow, she took a deep breath and coughed as the thick magical residue in the room clogged her throat. _God, I shoudn't be this tired._

Blinking heavy eyes she watched Harry shift slightly in his sleep. She smiled at the severe look on his face- apparently his new outlook on life carried over when he was dreaming, too. She was so intent on watching him that she didn't even notice when she slipped over the line into sleep.

--

"Tonks."

"JESUS!"

The metamorphmagus' mind was catapulted from a warm, content slumber to wakefulness in seconds. Unfortunately her cognitive functions were not as quick to reestablish themselves.

"Oh. My. God. Harry? Did we...?"

"You _are_ still clothed."

"...I mean, you're se- what?" Patting herself under the sheet, Tonks' face, hair, and eyes became a flamingly embarrassed red. "Oh. Wait, what're you doing out of bed, Harry? And why am I _in_ your bed?"

The green-eyed wizard began speaking even as he moved to strip off his blood-encrusted T-shirt. "I woke up roughly an hour ago and found you asleep half sprawled across the bed, which seemed uncomfortable. I _mobilicorpus_ed you into the bed and attempted to cook something to eat." Balling up the now-ruined fabric, he threw it left-handed towards a wastebasket, missing horribly. "I found, however, that I cannot use my left hand as well as my right, and none of my Charms books cover useful kitchen charms. I hoped that you would be rested enough to assist me in making something to eat."

_So formal, so cold_, the Auror sighed mentally, _worse than this morning_. "Sure Harry, just let me see how you're doing." She cast the same monitoring charm that had given her so much trouble earlier and noted that Harry's hand was a bright orange, and his lost blood seemed to have been replenished. "Damn, I'd expect that you'd be in bed for a few days even with taking twice the potions you had, but you're almost back to normal." She cancelled the charm and took his hand in hers. Parts of the scab that she had placed on his hand had already flaked away leaving the bright pink new skin to peek out. Looking up through her spiky hair, Tonks could only boggle. "Can you close your hand?"

"Not completely, the edges of the scab dig in to the skin and hurt. It also seems that I will have to work the muscles as well." He opened his mouth to continue when both of their stomachs gave an oddly symphonic pair of growls. "Perhaps we should attempt to cook, then." Plucking a shirt from his open trunk, the Hogwarts student moved soundlessly out of the room.

Lunch was created at the loss of one of the Dursley's steaks. Harry was unable to cook properly without the use of both hands, and though Tonks tried to follow his directions exactly, her natural clumsiness caused her first attempt to make a flying leap for freedom that ended on the linoleum. She had watched as Harry calmly vanished the meat and cleaned the grease with his left hand as casually as she might use her wand. Finally however, she had turned out decent fare and they had both sat down to eat.

Tonks knew that Harry would stay silent unless he was asked something and figured that this conversation needed to be taken care of sooner rather than later. Preparing herself mentally, she spoke.

"Alright Harry, I took up your bet last night. After the meeting, I had a talk with Dumbledore. I was told that the Prophecy was a secret that he couldn't make public, and that you lived with your family because they offered you blood protection against You-Know-Who, both things that I already knew. You were right that I didn't get much else out of him, though." She paused a moment, then continued evenly, "Now, I can see why you could get irritated with him, and why you think he's keeping too many secrets, but I don't think it's nearly as bad as you're making it out to be. Some of what he's keeping to himself is really sensitive! So I'm thinking that perhaps you're stretching this anger a bit- I mean, I can see where you're coming from, but maybe it's just bothering you so much because everything's so immediate for you." Instead of continuing however, she trailed off as her lunch partner held up his wounded hand.

"Follow me. You may bring your plate, if you wish."

Rising from the table, Tonks followed the shorter figure to something she assumed was a pantry under the staircase. After unlocking the deadbolt he gestured for her to look inside.

A small army-surplus cot as well as a few dusty shelves were crammed into a room smaller than any closet she had ever seen. "What in the world, Harry?"

Rather than respond, he pointed to a small scribble on the wall. When Tonks looked closer, she could make out 'H. Potter's room'.

"This was my room for the first eleven years of my life. My Hogwarts letter was addressed to 'The Cupboard Under the Stairs' at Number Four Privet. All of my clothes are castoffs from my cousin Dudley- and I have never been allowed to go shopping for myself for new ones." Taking her hand to force the stunned Auror along, he led her up the stairs and pointed at his doorway. "Please note that there are locks on the outside of the door, in order to keep me locked _inside_. The cat flap is so that I can be fed, which is typically tins of cold soup. Now, would you like to see the masonry damage from where the bars were torn off of my window before my second year?" At the Auror's nauseated face, he assisted her down the stairs and into her chair. "I was also physically and emotionally abused, if my living conditions were not enough. Despite my protestations, I was always returned to Privet Drive 'for my safety'. My complaints have never been that I am not treated as the favored son here. They are that I am hardly acknowledged at all unless used for slave labor, emotional or physical abuse, or as a whipping boy for my cousin." He stopped as the metamorphmagus looked ready to vomit and remained silent for a minute, then continued, "This is the least of the things that Dumbledore knows but does not tell anyone. I told you that if you wished, I would share the truth behind any of Dumbledore's secrets that I know. I will hold myself to that promise, but first I need to ask you a question. Do you know any Occlumency or other mental protections?"

"Uh, Harry, I didn't think it was that-"

"Tonks, I believe the point has been made, and I have moved on. Before I tell you a prophecy that Voldemort would cheerfully destroy your mind for, I would like to make sure you are properly protected."

Swallowing thickly, Tonks managed to rasp out her reply. "All Aurors know a little Occlumency, but I'm not all that skilled."

"Then it is your choice if I tell you or not. Both Dumbledore and Voldemort would be interested in your knowing, and both are master Legilimens, but if you wish to know I will trust you with the information." Harry's smooth tones would have been soothing had he not used the same even voice to explain how he had been abused his whole life.

Tonks' eyes were screwed shut as she pressed the heel of her hands against them. "God Harry, don't tell me that this prophecy says you die, flat out."

Harry barked a cold, mirthless laugh. "Prophecies are never that clear. However, when I told you yesterday that facing Voldemort is my destiny, I was speaking of the prophecy. Tom Riddle and I must meet sooner or later and one of us must finish what began that night so many years ago. That is vague enough that you could have come by this information easily." Calmly, Harry continued eating even as Tonks pushed her plate away to stop the bile from rising in her throat.

"God, after everything you just said, how can you _eat?_" she asked shakily.

After wiping his lips with a napkin, the Boy Who Lived looked at her with the same fathomless eyes. "I have been abused since shortly after my birth. I have faced multiple near-death situations. It is not a new and shocking revelation to me. The only thing of import I see at the present time is that this is more food than I have had on my plate than at any other time I have lived in the Dursley household."

"But how could Dumbledore put you back here every year?" The normally-cheerful witch seemed despondent at the recent revelations.

"My suppositions would likely be biased. Perhaps you could inquire of the man himself for an accounting." Harry turned to face his tablemate more directly. "Nymphadora Tonks- I asked yesterday if you would assist me in defeating Voldemort. Let us not speak around the subject- will you assist me in the destruction of Voldemort and keep my secrets?"

"I'm a member of the Order, Harry- I can't just say yes and then lie to them if you tell me to!"

"Your _employer_ is the Ministry and yet you lied to them about the whereabouts of Sirius at the bidding of Dumbledore; obviously you possess the required skills for falsehood."

Tonks' head snapped back at the baldly stated fact, but Harry's expression silenced any rebuttal.

Lacing his hands just under his nose, Harry regarded his tablemate with hooded eyes. "Do not worry overmuch Tonks. I would not ask you to go against Albus' orders openly. In fact, unless he has forbidden you from giving me books, you can salve your soul with knowing that you are simply assisting my studies. You can easily follow my orders with a clear conscience and no conflicting loyalties."

Despite the seven year difference in age between them, Tonks felt like she had been called back to the Headmaster's office in her first year. Harry no longer felt like a boy more than half a decade her junior. He was an imposing, arctic force.

"But, Harry..." She tried to come up with a stalling tactic, but all that played through her mind was Dumbledore's kindly manner alongside Harry's living conditions. "Yes, I will," she sighed.  
"Thank you, Tonks." he murmured. "Now, I need advice and information on a few topics- I have never had the luxury of learning how certain institutions in the Wizarding World operated. Is there a way to enable you to withdraw a specified amount from my Gringotts vault without me having to appear there in person?"

Cocking her head in thought, Tonks frowned a bit. "I don't rightly know, Harry. I just have a basic account there, not even a vault. I know that if you _do _rate a vault that you are catered to a bit more, but I don't know how to set it up- and you'd probably have to sign something anyhow."

The Boy-Who-Lived's face clouded momentarily. "I wonder how Molly Weasley was able to withdraw money from my account without my written permission, then." He looked faintly pained as he spoke next, which was more emotion than Tonks had really seen from him today. "Tonks, I am uneasy asking you this, as I do not wish to impose to this extent. Would you be able to spare a few galleons for supplies, until the time I can reach Gringotts?"

Tonks could not keep a smirk from spreading across her face, even though the first emotion Harry had shown- unease- wasn't generally considered a positive emotion. "Sure Harry. I got paid yesterday anyhow, so I can spare a few."

Within a heartbeat the placid mask had once again settled over his features. "As soon as I feel able to escape the wards without being detected, I will pay you back. To that end, I will need books on a few different subjects- as an Auror, if you know of specific books, or people who can suggest such, please make suggestions."

"I need information on wandless magic- obviously the common conception that it only happens in conjunction with extreme duress is false. I may not be completely emotionless, but one could hardly claim that my use of wandless magic is 'accidental' or a product of extreme emotion. Perhaps a book on wandless theory, if such a thing exists."

"Secondly, in order to better understand the wards on this house so that I may bypass them at will, I will need a primer on wardings- Bill Weasley will likely be a good source of information, and as he works at Gringotts, he could shed light on how to set up remote access to my funds."

"Actually I could see if he has any books you can borrow- well, that_ I_ could borrow."

Harry nodded. "Excellent idea. Now if you find anything in related subjects that would be helpful, this will allow me to begin my research. With a modicum of study, I should be able to visit Diagon Alley within a week to refund your money."

"It's no problem, Harry. Really I need to go into the Alley for some shopping anyhow, so I can get the books and such this evening and drop 'em off on the way to work tomorrow." She paused for a moment in thought. "Actually..." Tonks' voice dropped in volume as she examined the grain of the table. "...I could ask Professor Dumbledore if I could come talk to you- y'know, like talking about Sirius- it'd be a good cover story so I could be around more-" the metamorphmagus trailed off as her eyes filled, and she gave a wet sniffle. Staring at her hands clasped in her lap and lost in thought, she almost jumped when Harry's arms wrapped around her a few minutes later.

"No one has though about how this affected you, have they?" he asked as he pulled her head to rest in the crook between shoulder and neck.

Haltingly, Tonks began to speak as the younger wizard rocked her. "I remember seeing him a few times when I was growing up- he always played the part of the fun uncle, even if he was a cousin or whatever- he was the relative that knew magic, the one who snuck me sips of butterbeer even though mum told him not to, and showed me pranks." The auror looked up at Harry with bloodshot eyes as colors cycled slowly through her unfocused pupils. "Sirius is why I became an Auror- mum always said he was innocent, and I made a Witches' Oath that I'd find out the truth for her- and he _was _innocent! Merlin and Morgana, Harry, it was so hard for me to find out that the same Ministry I'm a part of put him away without a fair trial. If it hadn't been for Kingsley being a member of the Order too, then I'd've had to lie to my bosses about trying to bring him in." Tears had soaked Harry's shirt, but Tonks continued to rub her face against the fabric as she talked and sobbed brokenly.

"How are you so calm Harry?" Her slight figure shuddered as she inhaled, then spoke again in a almost-inaudible voice. "How did you get past it? I failed Sirius at the Department; I was useless in the battle. I- I can't look my mother in the face anymore."

Harry placed his hands on Tonks' cheeks and pulled her back far enough to look eye-to-eye with her. "You are not responsible for Sirius' death. That responsibility lies on the shoulders of two people- Voldemort and myself. Had I used the brain I was born with, we would not be here grieving, and because of that I will never stop blaming myself. Voldemort is ultimately responsible for Bellatrix's freedom and she is the one who sent Sirius through the Veil. Though I will kill her slowly should I have the chance, I will not be satisfied before Riddle's soul is dragged down to Hell."

Irrationally, the young man's calm explanation only aroused her ire, switching her sorrow to anger. The young woman's eyes flashed dangerously. "That's fuckin' wonderful Harry, but it doesn't tell me why you're like this." she snapped. The next moment she had broken out in a fresh bout of tears and had clutched his shirt in a white-knuckled grip. She scrubbed at her eyes ineffectually and glared at him. "I thought we could help each other out, and you're all Obi-Wan and shite, and I don't know why, and you get all crazy-calm, and the next thing I know you're turning me into your lackey!"

The too-calm wizard gazed at her silently before straightening and taking her hand to lead her into the living room. "Why am I like this? This was my response to my own personal breakdown, just as yours seems to be these manic episodes. If you wanted to know, all you needed to do was ask." He paused as they entered the room before guiding her to the couch. "Let me explain what happened to me that day."

"I had waited to see if my relatives were actually coming home before I ventured downstairs- they had left in a hurry, and I was unsure when exactly they would be back. At the time, I would not have been surprised to see them back because Dudley forgot a favorite toy of his.'

It was hunger that finally drove me downstairs- I gorged myself on food and collapsed on the couch to rest." Harry flicked the television on with the remote and changed the channel a few times. He was obviously reliving and reenacting what had happened in his head, but seemed unaware of it as he continued to provide commentary in the same soft monotone. "I looked through what was playing on the telly and watched mindless entertainment for a half-hour or so, then turned it off and dropped the remote in a half-awake daze. When it hit something, I scrambled to see what I had broken, but it had just bounced off of Dudley's CD player." He pulled the portable stereo into view from over the side of the couch and placed it on the coffee table.

"Now Dudley does have some interesting taste in music, and I was trying to escape all of the thoughts that had immobilized me, so I turned it on. The first song was techno- not something that I'd heard Dudley listen to, but it was light and uplifting and had me smiling as I slipped into that doze on the couch."  
Harry paused and fiddled with the knobs of the stereo for a moment, and Tonks- who had been raised in a half-Muggle house- smiled at his facility with the thing despite her concern. He paused with his finger resting on the 'Play' button, staring sightlessly though the machine to the table below.

"Then the second song came on."

Regarding the CD spinning behind the clear plastic screen, the young wizard closed his eyes. "I had not been dealing with Sirius' death well- I had settled into a pattern of ignoring the fact he was dead long enough to perform basic tasks that Vernon demanded, or I was curled up in a ball on my bed weeping and unaware of the world. I had been in a period of ignorance and denial for long enough to eat, and I wanted it to last a little bit longer- a foolish hope, of course."

"I am not ascribing a mystical significance to the song- I do not even know what it is called or who sings it- but the words hurt me. After the first stanza I lashed out and hit the CD player- but I just set the machine on repeat rather than turning it off."

Tonks shifted uncomfortably but froze when Harry's gaze sharpened and pinned her to the couch. "Poignant, is it not? The lyrics are vague enough that they could be about any number of things that have happened in my life. In my fugue state however, the entire thing spoke directly to me and magnified every bit of blame I felt for Sirius."

"I cried, of course. I wept and screamed at myself, I wailed my grief and cut furrows in my cheeks with my fingernails as I tried to punish myself. I am not sure when or how it happened, but at some point all I could think about was death. I had caused how many deaths? Sirius', of course, but there was Cedric, and my mother and father- and those are just the deaths linked immediately to me, to say nothing of every witch, wizard or muggle who died because of Voldemort's Death Eaters. That was the point where I lost control of myself- it is not the first time that I have used accidental magic- I had ransacked Dumbledore's office after he told me of the Prophecy- but it was like my magic was trying to escape my control. I felt something leave my body and my heart stopped beating for a moment- my perceptions slowed down and I felt so peaceful. I think I smiled, and then I snapped back into myself, and my heart slammed against my chest and all of my pain and sorrow was twice as powerful as before."

Letting the music play, the emerald-eyed wizard paused for a moment before continuing in the same level tone. "I lost track of myself for a time, and the next thing I remember is retching on the floor as things exploded or melted around me. I had lost conscious control of my body, and all I could do was weep and choke while it felt like my soul was pushed out of my body and back in. Finally I was able to gather control of myself long enough to bash my head against my knees and knock myself unconscious until almost a day later."

Tonks gasped and shuddered as Harry calmly related his tale. The heavy magic feeling had reappeared, and she could dimly feel pain she was sure did not originate with her. "Harry, I don't think you'd know about this, but it's possible for a Witch or Wizard to will themselves dead- it is very difficult to do, but Aurors who've seen it happen describe it a lot like what you've said. I don't know anyone who's survived if they've been able to start it, and it's a one-in-a-million wizard that's powerful enough to do it. It's like they separate their life from their body." She froze as Harry's eyes closed and he barked out a short, humorless laugh.

"I suppose that Trelawney's prophecy was more right than could be known, and yet still too damned vague, then."

"What do you mean?"  
The young wizard spread his arms wide. "You are looking at a man who wanted to be dead with all of his might- I wanted nothing but death and had craved nothing but my own death since Sirius fell through the Veil, and despite of that, despite of my unknowing attempt at suicide, I still live. I am not the Boy-Who-Lived; I am the Boy-Who-Cannot-Die." His lips thinned into a pained grimace. "Perhaps when I felt like pieces of my soul were being ripped out, they really were. Perhaps I tried to kill myself, cast my soul screaming down to Hell, forced myself to die- but I kept being dragged back to the same pain and the same Prophecy-dictated life. That would also explain why I did not recover more quickly- it was not my _body_ that was exhausted but my _soul_ and my magic. This Prophecy rules my life in a very literal sense." He sighed and met the Auror's eyes for a moment, and Tonks was struck by the hollowness that dwelt there. Soon, however, Harry removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. When he replaced them they had reformed into the same calm she remembered from the previous day.

Without looking, he tapped the power button on the CD player and made to rise, but stopped at Tonks' touch upon his arm. He allowed himself to be pulled back down and positioned against the corner of the high-backed couch. As their eyes met again, Tonks could not help the shimmer of tears that threatened to spill from hers as Harry wordlessly spread his arms. The metamorphmagus blurred forms as she settled into his embrace a second time.

She wasn't sure how long she cried, who she cried for- herself, Harry, Sirius- nor of when she had started crooning the song that Sirius had sung to her as a child as Harry gently rocked her. After that unknowable amount of time she uncurled her head from where it nestled below Harry's chin. The young wizard's eyes were hooded, but glowed faintly as they pulsed rhythmically with his heartbeat. Tonks was unwilling to break the somber mood but knew that Harry would not speak first.

"Harry," she whispered. He made no movement, but she knew he was paying attention. "I want you to get looked at by a Healer I know. Magic dealing with the soul is tricky, and the damage is worse. We need to know what's happened to you before we know how safe it is for you to push your body."

"**Can they be trusted?**"his voice rumbled far deeper than she had ever heard, vibrating the magic around and within her.

"Healer-Patient confidentiality oaths would insure it."

Harry's lambent eyes bore into her. "**You are sure.**"

She stopped for a moment. "Yes. He owes me." she murmured. "More than enough."

--

Nymphadora Tonks was confused. Somehow, despite the absurdity of the idea, she was taking Harry Potter to meet a Healer at St. Mungo's that she had contacted less than an hour before. No pre-planning, no special portkey, and most especially, no plan of escape. She suspected it had a great deal to do with the voice with which he had spoke. No sane wizard- save Dumbledore or You-Know-Who- could listen to that voice for long without crumbling. By the time he had told her that they would walk to the park before apparating, she would have agreed to almost anything to get him to speak with his previous quiet calmness. She brushed a long blonde lock of hair back irritably and looked over at Harry walking calmly next to her, disguised and incredibly serene.

"I still can't believe I'm doing this."

Harry's now-blue eyes turned to regard her frostily until they came to a stop at a nondescript door with a simple plaque stating that it was the office of Lawrence Warburton, Mediwizard. It took only a moment for him to open the door after she knocked.

"Wotcher, Larry."

"Tonks." The older man nodded as she passed him, and stopped on the other figure entering his office. "And this is the mysterious patient you asked me to see?" he asked.

Harry smoothly nodded as Tonks watched all of her carefully-cast transfigurations melt away. "Yes, I am."

The balding man gaped for a moment, then rubbed the hairless crown of his head absently. "Oh dear Merlin. Yes, I see why Tonks insisted on privacy." He nervously bustled over to his desk and gestured to both of them to sit before taking his seat heavily and looking ready to faint. "Well..." he coughed into his shaking hand, "Could you please start with the reason you wanted to see me, Mister Potter?"

--

Fortunately for all involved, once he was confronted with a medical problem, Healer Warburton became more comfortable with both his patient and the circumstances. While in his element, he cast a bewildering array of medical diagnostic charms with complete fluency, asked incredibly insightful questions, and was generally a top-flight Mediwizard.

When Harry asked what he had learned, however, Tonks remembered why Larry was generally not asked to speak directly to patients.

"Well Mister Potter, your soul's broken."

Even Harry paused for a moment at that sentence. "And how is my soul broken, Healer Warburton?"

The lime-green clad gestured in the air with his hands, as if to collect his thoughts. "From what you've told me, and what the diagnostics tell me, whatever you did ripped chunks of your soul off willy-nilly. Something else- this prophecy you mentioned, maybe- patched those holes over, but didn't do it quite right."

"I don't get it!" Tonks blurted, frowning.

Larry turned to shrug at her, but stopped when Harry murmured.

"I do."

Shortening her hair, the Auror sighed. "Fill me in, then."

"What Healer Warburton is saying is that my soul is- something like a crystal ball." he began slowly. "It was damaged, like taking pieces out of that ball, making it pitted." He paused and looked at the healer, who nodded. "Then something came in and attempted to patch the holes, but did it with a material that was not the original- steel instead of crystal."

The diminutive healer ran a finger around the edge of his collar and chuckled a bit. "That's a much better description, Mister Potter."

Tonks still had her face screwed up in confusion. "So what are the- 'patches'- made of, then?"

"Damned if I know."

"Larry!"

Holding up his hands, the sweaty Healer glanced between Tonks and the Boy-Who-Lived for a moment before returning his gaze to the floor. "Well, the reason I don't know is that I've never seen anything quite like this before. We do see soul damage- either because of being hit by certain Dark Arts curses, or being a Dark Art using wizard- but the damage doesn't heal like this. For lack of a better description, it just- well, 'scabs over'. It doesn't grow back, and it doesn't get patched, the soul just reconfigures itself over time, and you continue existing.

'There's no evidence that Mister Potter has used or been exposed to any of the spells that cause soul damage, but he exhibits the flat affect of soul damage, and the diagnostic spells show damage. I just can't find evidence of the spell that caused it."

Tonks looked ready to tear her hair out, or perhaps deck the healer. "'Flat affect'? Will he ever get back to normal?"

"It means he's not showing emotion normally- no smiling, no frowning, no real change in voice tone- and 'recovering' from this really depends. There are wizards who bounce back quickly as if nothing serious ever happened, even after being hit by very corruptive spells, and some people never regain a full emotional range. Honestly, I would guess- and only guess, mind you- that you will be fine in time, with emotional highs and lows blunted slightly, making you more even-keeled overall." he finished, meeting Harry's eyes.

The dark-haired boy nodded slightly and stood before the visibly deflated Auror. "I thank you, Healer. As soon as Tonks has restored the spells she had used on me, we will let you resume the rest of your day."

--

Since Harry had convinced her to take him to St. Mungo's, Tonks put up less resistance to visiting Gringotts. As they passed through the early evening crowd of Diagon Alley, she couldn't help but needle the Boy-Who-Lived slightly.

"Well, I guess all of those plans of yours to wait and get books and access to your funds were useless, huh?"

"I am not omniscient, and have never claimed to be. Perhaps the world would do well to remember that no one is, whether it be Albus Dumbledore or Voldemort."

Shivering at the rebuke, no matter how slight, Tonks snapped her mouth shut and mutely followed Harry through the doors of the bank. The now auburn-haired boy moved with cold efficiency to an unoccupied teller and began speaking in low tones, leaving her standing in the atrium uncertainly. Harry's discussion took almost ten minutes, most of which Tonks spent scanning the room in a paranoid manner that Mad-Eye Moody would have approved of.

Finally, Harry finished and gestured for her to follow him. "We are speaking to the goblin in charge of the Potter Trust. There are a few issues that need to be discussed."

In an incredibly short period of time, Tonks had been added to the access list of Harry's vault. She was also staring at the disguised wizard paging though the folder of financial records with not a small amount of trepidation.

Harry closed the thick folder and turned to the witch sitting next to him. "If you have any suggestions on books I should acquire, name them now." he commented as he rose and strode from the room, leaving her to catch up. The Auror hurried to walk next to him, but didn't get a chance to speak until they reentered the bustle of the Alley. "Please tell me this is the last stop tonight," she pleaded in a low voice, "I'm already surprised that Dumbledore hasn't caught us, and my damned nerves are shot after that stunt you pulled in there."

Gliding smoothly through the crowd, Harry replied equally softly. "For all of the talk about extra wards on that house, has anyone ever mentioned their existence besides him? Also, if the wards are powerful enough in their own right, why post guards when the wards could be triggered to warn him? It seems foolish to leave one member alone and exposed to act as a supplementary early-warning device." He paused to open the door and gesture Tonks through first, placing and keeping one hand lightly on her lower back. "As for your second complaint, be aware that there was no... 'stunt'." With that final pronouncement, the disguised wizard disappeared into the stacks of Flourish and Blotts.

Tonks shivered as he spoke by her right ear in that odd, fathomless voice. After staring in the direction he left in for a moment, she shook herself out of a stupor and went to gather a few books that she believed would be helpful. "Damn that man."

When the time came to check out, Harry had a stack of books almost as tall as he was. The clerk looked askance at the teenager for only a moment before flinching under the wizard's gaze. Tonks didn't think she had ever seen a clerk at Flourish's work so quickly and quietly in her life.

Harry was silent for the entire trip back to Privet Drive, and only after prompting Tonks to cast detection charms to ensure that no one was nearby did he speak.

Harry set a teacup in front of the seated Auror. "Now that the issue of my mental health and the lack of study materials have been addressed, I would request that you find a way to guard your conversations. I will attempt to learn Occlumency as well, but until such time that we are both confident that information cannot be divulged from our minds, we should limit our contact and discussions to matters that would be considered 'safe'."

The blue-haired woman sputtered, "What, I give you all this help, and now you're telling me to get out?"

"No, that is not what I said at all," the wizard interjected. "What I asked is that until we can both be sure that our conversations will remain protected from Legilimency, we do not talk about recent issues. The less you know, the lesser the likelihood that you will act suspiciously around Dumbledore, and the less likely it is this he will Legilimence you and find out."

Tonks could see the logic of his statement, but wondered, "So what does that leave for us to talk about?"

After setting his cup down, Harry offered, "Very little of import."

Grumbling, the witch sipped at her tea before popping to her feet. "Waaaait," she drawled. "I remember reading a book my mum had told me about, and it had something that would make information secret. If I find it again, we're in business!"

"Then you can find this book and we will discover what it involves. At the present time, I need to study, and perhaps rest. My lack of sleep seems to have given me an attitude problem today."

Tonks blinked. "Was that a joke?"

A ghost of a smile flitted across Harry's face. "Perhaps."

--

Author's Notes:

This is the _other_ thing I had sitting around. About half of this was already typed up, and there was a decent chunk of text I didn't use that will likely get shoved into one of the following chapters.

Harry's speech and actions changed from the last chapter (and within the chapter. If you look closely, you can tell where the old text stops and the new begins). I have blended it together somewhat, but his character changed as I wrote, and the more I did, the clearer the changes were. For example, he no longer uses contractions (or at least, he shouldn't, unless I missed one). Hopefully the style in which I write his dialogue will lend itself to the cadence in which he speaks in your head as you read. Also note that for now there is little showing what Harry thinks, or his actions when another character isn't around. That will change as we get to know the changed Harry a bit better.

...Unfortunately, after axing part of the original chapter, I have thrown myself off track. In order to bring things back into line, I'm hoping to cover Tonks' cunning idea and a small skirmish with Death Eaters. Remus will pop in, and perhaps some of the metaphysical crap that I spewed will be explained more.

Also, please keep in mind that this is an AU- I do check some of my information against the HP Lexicon, but typically when I write, I'm doing so on paper, away from reference material. Occasionally, information from other writings (HP-related, the few Ranma-related drabbles I've messed with, and non-fanfiction related stuff) blend together, and I'd rather let it slide than nitpick myself. Hopefully any problems with continuity don't jar you too much.


	3. Chapter 3

Tonks let herself in to the front door of Number Four Privet Drive with a cheery "Hello, Harrykins!" Ignoring the lack of response, she walked to the kitchen and found the dour figure of the Boy-Who-Lived restocking the refrigerator.

"Dursleys returning soon?" she asked.

"Yes. Vernon called to inform me that they would be returning tomorrow afternoon. After threatening my life, he also stated that if he noticed food missing from their stocks, I would be in trouble."

Tonks scowled at Harry's back. "And you let him talk to you like that?"

Harry shut the fridge door and turned to face the young auror. "He is unaware of the changes that have occurred in my situation. Also, the man cannot conceive of me being anything more than an annoyance. I see no problem with replacing what I have eaten, but should he attempt to harm me, he will be given one lesson in how to behave. He will not need a second."

"Damn, Harry." Tonks rolled her eyes at the glacial tone of voice. "Thanks for meeting my quota of scary guys with prouncements of doom for the day." She sat down in a chair at the breakfast table as Harry joined her. Behind him, the kettle filled itself with water and settled onto the stove as teacups flew out of the cabinets. "Been practicing, I see."

"As much as I can." Harry replied. "You may as well tell me what you have found- you are practically vibrating out of the chair."

Making a face at spoiling her surprise, the witch fished out a book and announced "I've found that spell I told you about! After I found it again, I found out that it's more of a ritual than a spell, really- it was done when someone married in to the Black family, but there doesn't seem to be anything that ties it specifically to the bloodline or anything. It's supposed to keep the target from being able to give out any secrets the other person in the ritual doesn't want made public, and it even specifically says that it works against Legilimency and it sounds like possibly even Veritaserum! Look at this page-" She stopped and flushed as Harry laid a finger against her lips. "I'm babbling, sorry."

The dark haired teenager removed his finger from her mouth and slid the book over so he could read it. After a few moments of skimming the paper he looked up at her. "The ritual sounds perfect. Would it be considered bad form to assume there is a catch of some type?" Harry inquired.

Tonks propped her chin on her fist. "Well, I can see why you'd think that, but it didn't look like it. Now most people would see that it involves blood and shy away from it, but this is more like a ward for thoughts than anything else, and blood wards are the most powerful there are." she mentioned conversationally.

"That would be why Dumbledore used them on me, yes." Harry noted, "and while the power to resist Legilimency is the aim, we need to ensure that there are not obvious detrimental effects." The boy paused. "Did you take Arithmancy, or do you have any additional knowledge which may assist us in determining the outcome of the ritual?"

"No," Tonks huffed, "I was always an action kinda person, not a bookworm."

After careful perusal of the books- a diary of a former head of the Black family and a scroll of notes- Harry could find no obvious flaw in the ritual, but still had reservations relying on it.

"Look Harry, other than this, we would have to wait until my Occlumency could beat Dumbledore's Legilimency- or at least his passive scans. I know you've gotten a lot better all of a sudden with your emotionlessness, but it was hard enough for me to get basic shields in place. Besides, it looks like the worst that happens is that it fails without backlash."

Harry narrowed his eyes in what Tonks assumed was grudging agreement. "Very well. Tonks. I will memorize my parts and you do the same. You will also need to acquire the tools needed."

"I'm ahead of you on this one, Harry," Tonks said, smiling. "Since this doesn't need a ritual circle or anything, let's sit somewhere comfortable"

The Boy-Who-Lived settled into the center of the Dursley's couch at Tonks' direction after moving an end table close enough so that Tonks would be able to reach it during the short ritual. Meanwhile Tonks unshrunk the silver knife and chalice, and poured a measure red wine into the sliver bowl before setting both implements on the table. She walked very carefully to stand in front of the seated wizard. Her hands trembled and she concentrated on keeping her breathing even as she quickly grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head. She watched as Harry likewise disrobed and continued to look straight into her eyes. She had never been so glad of his lack of emotion before.

Tonks opened her mouth to speak, but instead shifted to straddle Harry's legs on the couch. She twisted slightly to pick up the chalice and almost fell over backwards, but a warm hand on her back steadied her until she could regain her balance. As she straightened, she handed the cup to her seatmate and picked up the knife.

Scooting forward, the witch moved so that the rim of the chalice pressed against both bodies and brought the tip of the knife to her chest, right above her heart. She recited the rather long incantation she had memorized phonetically, absently wishing she had taken Ancient Runes in school rather than Magical Creatures. After Harry had added his portion of the spell, she readied herself for the pledging.

"I, Nymphadora Eugenia Tonks," she began, hissing slightly as she pressed the blade in and caught the thin crimson ribbon in the bowl, "do pledge to you, Harry James Potter." she paused and reversed the blade, pressing it over the younger wizard's heart. At the slight assent of his head, she cut him shallowly and placed the knife aside and watched as both trails of blood commingled in the bowl. "I pledge the fidelity of the secrets you will reveal unto me."

After a few moments Tonks gestured slightly and Harry whispered a healing charm as he pressed his finger over her wound, sending a spike of power through he chest that made her hiss through her teeth. Swirling the cup as Harry healed himself, the metamorphmagus lifted the chalice to her lips and drank, smearing her lips with the fluid. Grimacing at the taste, she nonetheless spoke in a clear voice. "I promise that my heart shall never betray that which you wish kept silent."

Ducking her head and finally breaking eye contact, she kissed the small scab over Harry's heart, leaving a perfect bloody lipmark. As she raised her head, she looked into those incredibly green eyes and saw the spark of power that now always lay there. "Will you accept my promise and guard my heart?"

"I do and shall." Harry intoned.

Taking a second drink, the lavender-haired girl shuddered at the taste. In a raspy voice she continued. "I give my bond that my mind shall never divulge your thoughts which you share with me."

Tonks pressed her lips against Harry's 'third eye' in the middle of his forehead and pulled back to look him in the eyes. "Will you accept my bond and protect my mind?"

The light within the wizard's eyes was more noticeable now, almost brighter than the ambient light in the room. "I do and shall."

Her third draught drained the bowl, and she could not contain a full-body shudder as the metallic liquid coated her throat. Placing the bowl next to the dagger Tonks tangled her hands in Harry's dark locks and tilted his head back. "I give my oath that my lips shall never betray that which you tell me in confidence."

The metamorphmagus pressed her lips against Harry's for a moment before backing away. "Will you accept my oath and secure my speech?"

Harry opened his eyes and met hers. "I do and shall." His voice carried hints of the power that had resonated so powerfully on this couch last week.

"Will you accept my promise- the pledge, the bond, and the oath- given freely to you? Will you guard, protect, and secure me, that I may never betray that which is revealed to me?"

Harry answered slowly, in the same formal tone that the ritual had been written in. "I, Harry James Potter, accept your promise- the pledge, bond, and oath- given freely, sealed by our blood. I promise to guard, protect, and secure you, Nymphadora Eugenia Tonks, that you will never betray that which I reveal to you."

Tonks' eyes smiled, even as her voice held steady. "So shall it be." Pursing her still-glistening lips, she kissed Harry once, then repeated the phrase in concert with him a second time, along with a second kiss. On the third repetition Harry spoke alone, and a cool, pleasurable sensation flared in her hindbrain as their lips met. Deepening the kiss, she parted hers lips slightly to flicker her tongue against Harry's and let out a soft, pleased whimper. She pulled back to catch her breath but felt it catch as Harry's warm hands ran up her bare back. His hands trailed up and set themselves on her shoulders, keeping her from moving. She opened eyes she didn't remember closing and let out a noise somewhere between a moan and a growl.

"Tonks," Harry began, but was cut off as she wormed her arms up between his and pushed out, breaking his hold on her. She quickly grabbed his head and pillowed it between her suddenly-expanded breasts. As she ran her fingers through his inky hair she bent down to murmur in his ear.

"I'm going to _fuck_ you now, Harry." she sing-songed with breathy emphasis on the obscenity.

The skinny frame of the Boy-Who-Lived abruptly bore her into the air as he rose smoothly from the couch, turned, and dropped her onto his recently-vacated seat before stepping back. "**Tonks- get control of yourself.**" he demanded, his voice resonant with power.

Whether it was his voice or the unceremonious landing on the couch, Tonks shook off the lust that had swept through her body. "Harry, I... I don't know what made me say that." she stammered. She could feel the heat radiating from her flushed body, and the desire that drove her to grab him coiled in her stomach.

"During the final kiss there was a flare of magic. I believe we ignored a major clue- this spell was only used once the couple was married, not before. It must cause powerful lust or love as a side effect."

Tonks found herself entranced by the way measured way he spoke, the sexy messiness of his hair- she wrenched her thoughts away from that line of thought with difficulty. "How are you so unaffected, the soul damage?" she panted.

Harry shook his head once. "No, I felt it too, less strongly perhaps. I have a natural resistance to mental commands- I can fight off the Imperius Curse. This attack was less painful, and easier to fight off."

"I don't know if I can break it, Harry." The witch whispered. _Hell, I don't know if I want to fight it, _a wicked part of her mind thought privately.

"I can fight it off, but unlike the Imperius, even though I have resisted, it continues to attempt to influence me. I can feel your feelings as well, perhaps as a side effect of the spell."

"So we let nature take its course." Tonks offered. "You're an attractive man, Harry, and I can look like whoever you want."

The raven-haired boy's only reaction was a tiny twitch of his eyes. "You deserve better, Tonks." He stated solemnly. "You deserve free choice uninfluenced by spells. I will simply dissolve the promise-"

Tonks launched herself clumsily from her seat on the couch and managed to strike Harry with enough force to knock him down. The auror scrambled up his body and straddled his hips as she came face-to-face with him. "Don't be a noble ass, Harry. I'm not a blushing virgin, I'm making this choice myself, and I choose you. Now." She kissed his blood-slick lips violently, the once-harsh taste almost arousing.

"Tonks-" Harry began. The auror groaned in frustration and silenced him by claiming his lips once more. After a moment, Harry pulled back. "Not on the floor, my room."

With a breathy, sensual moan, she stood and grabbed the boy's left hand to pull him up as well. He came to his feet with incredible lightness and lashed out with his other hand, fingers leading in a jab to her chest. The last thing she heard before darkness was his voice intoning "**Stupefy!**"

--

Tonks snapped back to consciousness and immediately attempted to move before finding she was tied down. She opened her eyes and found Harry staring back at her levelly.

"Harry... if you let me up now and kiss it better, I won't smack you like you so richly deserve."

"You still feel it."

Tonks blinked at the non-sequitur and blurted "Yes" before her thoughts caught up. "Merlin and Morgan, Harry! Yes, I still bloody want you. Let. Me. _Up!_"

The Boy-Who-Lived knelt before the chair she was tied to. "I attempted to break the ritual bond and was unsuccessful. If you are conscious and we both attempt to dissolve the oath, it may work."

"I'm not going to do it, dammit." she spat. "I started wanting you before the damned ritual crap, and I still want you- no, I _need_ you." Tonks could feel a liquid heat flashing through her body that sapped at her will and clouded her reasoning, growing hotter with every moment. "I'm aching for you." She strained against her bonds in an attempt to get close enough to kiss him but was stopped as he stood again.

Harry Potter stared at her as if carved from ice, the only sign of life was the light which began to leak from his eyes. He searched her face, then scanned her body as she shivered and moaned as if it were his hands that caressed her. When they locked eyes again she felt a frigid spike slide into her mind and gasped as her nipples hardened. The tendril of thought had battered aside her rudimentary Occlumency defenses and felt as if he was directly stimulating the pleasure center of her brain. The auror's eyes grew impossibly wide and she strained to pull more air into her lungs before slumping against her bonds as her eyes rolled up to show the whites. She could no longer form words, moaning something that sounded like his name as he limbs spasmed then then panting heavily until she regained her breath. Some base portion of her brain noticed that the chair was inching forward as she struggled, and she began struggling with more fervor to close the gap between them.

Just as quickly as it had begun, her ardor cooled as the same mental invasion that had aroused her forcibly separated her thoughts from her emotions. The body thrashing against the rope bonds felt as if it belonged to someone else, even as she looked through its eyes. As she began to collect herself, she noticed a calm, incredibly powerful presence surrounding her.

_Harry?_

_**Yes.**_

_What's happened to me? I couldn't even think straight, I just wanted... well..._

_**Part of the magical backlash from the ritual seems to be driving us to mate, Tonks.**_

The embarrassment that the auror would normally feel about discussing her actions seemed almost nonexistent, a flickering shadow of emotion easily ignored. _And you haven't found a way to stop it?_

_**No.**_Harry's mental voice, while tightly controlled, held a faint touch of apology. **_I do not actually know Legilimency, and am afraid that if I attempt to affect your mental state any further that I will cause irreparable harm._**

_So we, uh, 'mate'. _Tonks thought haltingly. _I told the truth when I said you were attractive, Harry. The circumstances might be horrible, but I- I won't regret this._

The Boy-Who-Lived was silent for so long that Tonks began to wonder if he would leave her trapped within her own mind forever. Finally, through the stillness, Harry's thoughts came to her. **_I... care for you as well, Tonks. _**

The metamorphmagus felt the mental contact recede, and within moments the fiery, mind-melting passion roared through her veins again. She strained once more to escape her bonds, but was startled when they no longer held her fast. Before she could fall, hands wrapped themselves around her waist and Harry pressed his mouth to hers. She responded savagely, ripping at his clothes and nipping at his neck. One of the boy's hands trailed down over her ass and she bucked against his waist. All too soon, the haze of lust engulfed her again and she thought no more.

--

Harry felt Tonks' breathing ease into slumber as the sweat cooled from their coupling. He waited for a time, forming the words in his head before he spoke softly.

"I give you my oath that I will find the truth behind the ritual we used today, and will do anything within my ability to release you from the bond, should you desire. **This I so swear**."

A swirl of magic, faintly visible even against the light of the afternoon, bled from his hands and covered the woman's form before fading. The tingle of magic against her skin caused the metamorphmagus to pull him closer and murmur his name.

The green-eyed boy regarded her dispassionately for a moment before kissing her forehead gently. "Thank you for understanding, and thank you for caring, Tonks." he whispered, then closed his eyes and slept.

--

Tonks waited another five minutes or so until Harry had actually fallen asleep before cracking her eye open. After poking him lightly to make sure he had fallen fully asleep, she sat up and stretched, feeling deliciously sore. While Harry seemed to feel emotion only faintly, he was far from passionless. After overcoming his initial inexperience and his unwillingness to harm her, the boy had shown a degree of skill that blew Tonks' previous lovers- few though they were- out of the water. It was as if he had read her mind and gleaned information about exactly what pleased her- and knowing his abilities, it was completely possible he had.

The young auror sighed contentedly as she found her wand and cast a few cleaning charms on Harry, herself, and the sheets, then followed it up with a pregnancy ward she dredged up from memory.

Placing her wand next to Harry's glasses on the nightstand, she used the excuse of the small bed to snuggle close, draping herself over his body. She had only been able to actually rest with someone once before, and while the relationship had soured quickly, she had enjoyed it immensely at the time.

She only hoped that the sex wouldn't poison another relationship with a friend.

--

After their nap and shower- no charm in the world could reproduce the feeling of showering with someone- Tonks sat down with Harry at the breakfast table and had a late lunch.

"So, now that I have this handy mental block for your secrets, why don't you tell me what you couldn't before?"

The wizard finished chewing and looked at her levelly. "You may wish to finish eating. You seem to lose your appetite when you hear unpleasant information."

Tonks' heart clenched. "Harry, you're not inspiring confidence in me, here."

"I am merely trying to look out for your best interests Tonks." He replied mildly. "The first and most important piece of information I wanted to share with you was a prophecy."

"I have been a child of prophecy since before my birth. I learned about it only recently, but Voldemort has known of it- though not the whole of it- since shortly after it was uttered. It is the reason he killed my parents; it was an attempt to foil the prophecy before it was completed."

As Harry recited the lines of the prophecy, the pink-tressed auror became more and more confused. Finally, she focused back on the pale boy sitting with her. "So it's you or him?"

"Apparently."

She blinked. "And what is this 'Power the Dark Lord knows not' stuff?

"According to Dumbledore, it is love."

The metamorphmagus almost snorted her tea through her nose. "He thinks it's bloody what?"

Harry shrugged slightly. "I was not in the best frame of mind when I was told the Prophecy. Given my current inability to feel emotions deeply, I would assume that he is mistaken. Additionally, when my upbringing is taken into account, I am unsure that I truly understand what love is or how it would feel."

Tonks slumped in her chair and looked defeated. "So what can we do? What can _I_ do?"

"Voldemort has decades of experience with magic, including the Dark Arts. Dumbledore has given me no extra training to combat his strengths, made no attempt to suggest educational paths I should have taken to be better prepared. While I attempt to correct these deficiencies, I need you to be my eyes and ears in both the Wizarding World and the Order. Once I have a solid grounding and will not be an impediment, the two of us will need to undermine Voldemort's Death Eaters via guerilla tactics before I am able to face him in combat."

At Tonks' still-forlorn look, the dark-haired wizard placed a hand on her shoulder and looked her in the eyes. "I know that this may sound hopeless- it is not. Simply by your willingness to act, rather than stand passively by as the Order has done, you will make a difference."

The witch couldn't help but smile. "Alright, Harry." Nudging him with an elbow, she sat back up and leaned in to his personal space. "You sure do know how to sweet-talk a woman. Now, how about you explain what you did at Gringotts the other day..."

--

The ungainly forms of Vernon and Dudley Dursley waddled into the house as the floor creaked under their combined weight.

"Boy!"

"Yes, Uncle Vernon?"

"Get our luggage out of the car and make it quick, freak!" the mustached man bellowed.

Harry walked out to the boot of the Volvo and pressed the latch, only to see his cousin smirking from the front door. The rotund teenager was dangling the keys from one meaty hand while the other curled into a tight fist.

The skinny wizard paid his relative no mind as he whispered the unlocking spell and removed the suitcases from the card before using the featherweight charm on both. Once he crossed the yard and placed both pieces of luggage inside the house and closed the front door, his uncle strode out to confront him.

"You aren't allowed to do your freakishness outside of school, boy." the man growled in a low tone.

"Wizards cannot do magic without a wand, and I do not have mine with me, sir." Harry replied evenly as he turned to face the man.

"Oh you don't, do you?" Vernon smiled viciously and began pulling his fist back.

Carefully, as he had practiced hundreds of times in the past week, the Boy-Who-Lived tapped the magic that existed within him and felt it flow through his body. As the big man began to throw his punch, Harry reinforced the magic in his arms and intercepted the fist, stopping it with a loud smack. His right hand, palm open, hit Vernon in the chest with a meaty sound, and he silently cast a banishing charm at the moment of impact.

The obese man's incredible bulk was launched down the hallway silently before crashing to the floor of the kitchen. Harry followed quickly in the body's wake, consciously submerging himself deeper into the well of magic he tapped. His glowing gaze pinned the piggish Dudley to the chair from which he had attempted to rise before settling back on the prone figure. The light from streaming in from the window washed out much of the pale boy's face, leaving only the unnaturally lit eyes to focus on. They narrowed as if in thought before Harry began to speak at a slow, measured pace.

"As I said, Vernon, wizards cannot do magic without a wand. Indeed, I should not be capable of doing magic of any kind without alerting more wizards. In spite of that fact, there are no warnings and I use no wand. You may not understand the significance of this, so I shall explain it in a way that your underdeveloped, fat-choked brain can comprehend."

With a negligent gesture, Harry levitated the corpulent man in the air where he scrabbled for purchase, eyes wide. "I am unconcerned by the laws of the Muggle or Wizarding Worlds. I will no longer accept your abuse without retaliation, as I have in the past. I am no longer an unwilling slave, I am a human being just as you are. While your ability to torture and belittle me without the intervention of Child Services has been greatly aided by the work of wizards, those wizards did nothing to change the fact that you are a petty, bigoted man and every word and blow has been struck by your own choice."

Harry moved closer and continued staring into Vernon's eyes. "I am not the merciful, forgiving God you pretend to pray to when you appear at church. I do not have his understanding, and I do not have his compassion. Should you strike me, I will not turn the other cheek; I will kill you rather than allow you to harm me again. I do not desire your understanding, I acknowledge that you will always hate me for the simple fact that my care was thrust upon you, that I was a burden to you. I hated you for this, once; I had dreamt of ways to make you suffer after I was able to use magic without supervision. Now that I can, I am indifferent to you. I do not desire your death, but should you make yourself a hindrance, your continued existence is not required."

The Boy-Who-Lived turned and walked back towards the staircase to the second floor. "I hope, Vernon Dursley, that we will not need to speak of this again."

--

Harry stood in the back garden of Privet Drive, staring off into the distance.

"Good evening, Tonks." he murmured, without turning.

The grass flattened as the young auror stumbled and fell with a surprised noise. "Dammit Harry, how'd you know I was there?" she groused, "I thought I did a excellent job of sneaking up on you."

The boy turned to the patch of ground where the invisible witch lay and helped her to her feet, giving a miniscule twitch of his lips that Tonks had come to interpret as a smile. "You did do an excellent job- I could not hear or see you. I have, however, known your approximate location since you arrived ten minutes ago."

Tonks' head popped into view as she scowled. "Whaddya mean you knew?"

"I believe I mentioned it shortly after we performed the ritual. I felt what I believed to be a constant sense of desire and passion trying to cloud my judgment. In truth, I believe that the ritual forged a connection between us. Due to the symbolism in the ritual itself, I would be unsurprised to find that the dominant emotion in its creation would be love, lust, affection, or something similar. After exhausting the original emotional charge and further experimentation, I can tell in a general sense if you are well, conscious or unconscious, and your general mood or dominant emotion. When you Flooed in to Ms. Figg's , I could determine your location, which I used to track you."

Cocking her head to the side, the witch looked thoughtful. "Sounds dead useful. D'you think it works both ways? I can't say that I've picked up on it myself."

"Calm yourself and clear your mind of outside interruptions."

"You mean like for Occlumency?"

"Yes."

"That didn't work to well when I tried to keep from jumping your bones yesterday." Tonks noted wryly.

Harry spread both hands palm up in a half-shrug. "Extenuating circumstances, perhaps?"

Tonks gave a short chuckle before beginning the relaxation exercises that would drop her into a light trance.

"Now," Harry's voice began, soft enough not to jar her fully aware, but carrying a hint of power she instinctively listened to, "focus on your mind, feel the juncture of your thoughts and emotions, and move to where your perceptions join to both."

Tonks nodded her head when she had found the mental representation he was describing.

"Good. Now, do you feel something which you cannot hear with your ears, see with your eyes, or feel with your skin, but rather hovers back near your magical core itself? When you do, sense what it feels like to you and tell me where what you sense is located in relation to you."

The metamorphmagus' brow furrowed lightly as she turned her head slowly back and forth. After a minute she extended an arm and pointed behind and to her right. "There, ten- no, twenty- feet away.

"Very good." Harry complemented her as she opened her eyes and squinted at the light. "Apparently the notes that the Black Heir's diary contained was not a full listing of the effects as it claimed."

"You seem to be able to sense me easier than I sense you." Tonks noted.

"All of my senses seem more acute since the soul damage. I have also been experimenting and meditating more recently."

"True"

"The ritual was also designed so that I protect your mind, and knowing where you are and the state you are in would aid in that."

"Fine, fine." Tonks waved away his explanations without rancor and walked next to the boy, who had returned to staring off into the distance. "I didn't see a car outside."

"Vernon and his son arrived home a few hours ago. After he attempted to harm me, we spoke. They are currently out, presumably to find something to eat, as they were told I would not be preparing it." Harry paused, then spoke in a almost-amused tone. "Vernon seems very uncomfortable around me."

The green-haired witch rolled her eyes. "Fancy that." she commented dryly. "What did you hex him with?"

"I did not hex him at all. I did keep him immobile while I spoke with him, but I believe the discussion we had was most fruitful. I am capable of being persuasive when circumstances warrant. While we spoke, however, I also found evidence of Dumbledore's mental tampering."

Tonks made a disgusted noise. "Dammit, Harry. Before you say anything, remember that I have to deal with him if I'm going to spy on the Order. Think about what you're about to tell me so I don't feel like strangling him with his own beard." Tonks pleaded.

The short wizard shook his head. "I do not know the extent of what he has done. In all honesty, from the few clues I could glean from Vernon's mind, Dumbledore seems to have have erased or altered four periods of time. I was surprised that I found any evidence at all."

"Yeah." the metamorphmagus whispered, watching as the Boy-Who-Lived's eyes unfocused again. Losing track of time, she was still studying his profile when he straightened himself, then reached over and pulled the invisibility cloak over her head.

"There were apparitions nearby." he stated.

Tonks' adrenaline began pumping and she unconsciously shifted her form to allow greater mobility. "No one should be apparating in at all. How many and where were they?" she asked sharply.

"More than two, less than six. I do not know exactly where." Harry frowned deeply, perhaps his greatest show of emotion in recent memory. "I am unsure of the range my senses were extended to."

The auror nodded, then gave an affirmative noise when she realized he could not see her. Casting a few quick charms, she gave a triumphant smirk. "Well, they're not trying to mask their presence much. I pick up five people coming from the park at the end of the street. Maybe we should head inside and ward ourselves in and call for the Order?"

Harry shook his head once. "If they are Death Eaters, I would rather have the ability to jump the fence and retreat if needed." He turned and walked to the edge of the house and carefully peered down the road. Tonks hurried over, placing a hand on his shoulder to brace herself as she did likewise.

Five black-robed figures walked down the middle of the street. While their hoods were up, the glint from their masks were visible from quite a distance, marking them as Death Eaters. The five made their way slowly down the lane, apparently having difficulty distinguishing one house from the next.

"I assume that they are using a charm to render themselves unnoticeable?" Harry asked.

Tonks stepped back and cast two spells in rapid succession. "Seems like a muggle-specific Notice-Me-Not charm." She frowned as she thought about that statement. "Why don't they want to be seen? That doesn't match up with the way they work- they're all about creating havoc."

Harry moved back behind the shelter of the house and strode to the Dursleys' woodshed. "I have a hypothesis. It will be tested shortly." The scruffy-haired wizard ducked inside the outbuilding long enough to grab an item before returning to the auror's side. When he returned, Tonks pulled her head out of the cloak to give him an incredulous look.

"What in the bloody hell do you think you're going to do with that, Harry?"

He looked at the small bag he held, then returned her gaze placidly. "My offensive spell repitoire is limited to touch range at this time. Therefore, I must improvise."

Dismissing further attempts to discuss his weapon, Harry turned Tonks' attention back to the street. The two watched as the Death Eaters found the Dursley house and scrambled into positions in the front yard. After a few moments of discussion, the five figures raised their wands and pointed them at the house.

"On my mark!" yelled a shrill voice, "One... two... three!"

All of the robe-clad wizards cast the same spell, the lights from their wands pooling together before lancing out at the house. Just as the spell struck the building, a latticework of shielding flared into life. The collision of the two spells caused an almost-subsonic vibration and a shower of sparks that skittered across the lawn and sizzled fitfully against the driveway.

"Again!"

The wards held against the second barrage, though the grass began scorching where the sparks fell to earth. An electrical hum could be heard, slowly gaining in both volume and pitch.

"...Wards won't hold out forever, y'know." Tonks commented, keeping her tone light with some effort. She was so jittery from her forced inaction that she was sure the invisibility cloak's edges were visible where it bounced.

"You are correct, of course," Harry replied. "Come." He turned and lead both of them away from the house and hopped the hedge separating them from the house next door.

The high shrubbery concealed both witch and wizard as they crept closer to the Death Eaters. Harry knelt and unzipped the bag he had brought, hefting the weight inside. As the chanting began again, the teenaged wizard stood and banished the object without fanfare at the row of wizards directly across from him.

Tonks could not contain her smile as the lurid green bowling ball slammed into the four black-robed figures in the front row, sending them crumpling to the ground in a symphony of pained cries. The ball then reversed its motion, swerving to hit the fifth wizard who took a glancing blow to the cheek before dropping.

The bowling ball swooped down and buried itself in the ground, the figure with the shattered mask barely scrambling away in time. One of the other Death Eaters fired off a Blasting Curse that was nimbly evaded by the sphere as it turned to impact heavily against another robed wizard. A general cry of retreat was sounded, and before the ball could strike again, all of the figures silently disappeared.

Harry let the urethane ball settle gently back into his hands and packed it away. "I will meet you on the front porch before the Order arrives." he stated before leaving quickly to hide the bag.

--

Tonks had worked herself up into a towering rage by the time the Order finally arrived at Privet Drive. Harry watched from his seat on the concrete slab in front of the door as the metamorphmagus levelled her wand at Kingsley Shacklebolt, the Weasley Twins, and Dumbledore. Tonks' auror partner offered her a hand sign that caused her to lower her wand slightly, but did very little to calm the irritated woman down.

"Merlin!" she snapped. "What took you so bloody long?"

The headmaster ignored her question and looked around curiously. "What attacked the wards, Nymphadora?"

"Five black-robed wizards in white masks- hmmm, maybe they could be Death Eaters!" she ground out sarcastically. Tonks hair began cycling colors as she visibly reigned her anger in "I managed to stop them, but their portkeys triggered before I could subdue them."

Dumbledore met her eyes for a moment before walking over to the Boy-Who-Lived, leaving a fuming metamorphmagus facing her auror superior. The shaven-headed wizard paled noticeably as she levelled the full force of her anger on him.

"Thanks for the backup, Shack."

Kingsley couldn't suppress a wince as Tonks began to unload her irritation on him.

--

As the aged wizard approached the porch, he noted that the fury that Nymphadora had shown was mirrored by the boy's eyes. Stopping a few feet away, he slid his wand back into his sleeve and inclined his head.

"Harry, I see-"

"How could you?" the young wizard growled suddenly, startling the older man. "Those damned Death Eaters were here long enough to throw spells at the wards for what- ten minutes?- before you showed up! Tonks had to fight them off herself! Excellent job the blood-wards did if they didn't hide me, and who knows how long they'd last?"

The Headmaster of Hogwarts was uncharacteristically speechless by the random outburst and had only managed to open his mouth before Harry cut him off again.

"I could have helped her, of course, but for some reason the esteemed Headmaster hasn't used what political clout he has to prove I need to defend myself- despite Dementor attacks in a Muggle neighborhood!"

The emerald-eyed boy narrowed his eyes and continued. "Of course, you've done a terrible job all around- what kind of man allows a scared fourth-year to compete in the Tri-Wizard Tournament when more experienced wizards have died? A suggestion from you to Barty Crouch could have had me answering questions under Veritaserum to determine the truth- and that or a pensieve would have cleared up questions about Voldemort's resurrection.

Now this year, you force me to attempt to learn Occlumency from a man who hates my family and has the teaching ability of a flobberworm. You are politically outmaneuvered by an incompetent Minister and his sadistic toady. And you are nowhere to be found when Umbridge threatens to use the Crutatius on me, gets Veritaserum from Snape, and tries to overdose me."

Plastering an obviously-false, but wide smile on his face, Harry asked, "But let's ignore all that. Since you're making a rare public appearance at my relatives' house, would you like to see the cupboard that was my room for the first eleven years of my life? Or perhaps you could tour my new room- my cousin's second bedroom, the one where the locks are _outside_ in the hallway, and there's a cat flap they can feed me through! Wanna see?"

Dumbledore's aged face flashed a look of surprise as he shook his head slowly.

Harry stood, using the added height of the porch to look down on the colorfully-robed Mugwump. "Then if you cannot be bothered to arrive in time to backup Order members, cannot explain why you have wronged me so many times, or wish to see my horrid living conditions, then perhaps you need to think about what's going to happen once the Death Eaters report to their Master where I live. You'd better come up with something quickly before I'm hip-deep in black-robed idiots. Good day, Headmaster."

--

After answering the twins' and Kingsley's questions in the wake of Dumbledore's departure, Tonks found herself in the kitchen of Number Four with the Boy-WhoLived.

"I still can't believe you yelled at the Headmaster like that." Tonks said, shaking her head. "I was afraid that things would backfire and we'd be in a real spot."

Harry nodded once. "It was a calculated risk- but when Dumbledore and I last spoke, I was incredibly emotional, and vastly more physically destructive. It would not stretch credibility that I would be just as angry and more verbally demonstrative. In addition, Kingsley now knows some of what Dumbledore has done, and perhaps he will ask the Weasley Twins- they know much of what has gone on and would be willing to explain many of the details I could not elaborate on."

"Still- hey, did the Headmaster..."

"He did," Harry noted. "as you spoke with him. It seemed like he was attempting to verify the truth of your words, which I gave. He also probed for how much time you have spent speaking to me, to which I showed that we have had little contact."

The auror blew out a breath and slumped in her seat. "Merlin, I don't want to go through that again. Dealing with the Order like this is worse than the Death Eaters!" Tonks perked up a little bit as a thought occurred to her. "Speaking of which, how'd you come up with the bowling ball trick?"

Harry gave another ghost-of-a-smile. "In my second year, a house elf enchanted a bludger to chase me during a Quidditch game. While the magic he used was different, it allows me offensive ability using spells I can cast wandlessly." The boy's voice became colder as he continued. "The fact that I was able to put Draco Malfoy in a smilar position to the one I was in at that time seems appropriately ironic as well."

That comment made the witch sit up and slam a palm against the table. "What?! Are you sure? How could you tell?"

After finishing a sip of tea, Harry continued. "The shrillness of his voice, the general shape of the Death Eaters themselves- two were blocky and lumbering like Crabbe and Goyle Junior, the blonde hair that fell out of the hood after being hit in the face with the bowling ball." The wizard fished a broken piece of Death Eater mask out of his pocket. "And perhaps this piece of transfigured porcelain will help somehow."

"How in the hell did you notice all of that?" Tonks asked incredulously.

Turning his head to stare at an empty portion of the kitchen, he stated. "Constant Vigilance. Am I correct, Moody?"

The former auror's scarred face and wand hand shimmered into view as the invisibility cloak was pulled down. "Aye lad. That means I can't really say I'm sorry about this. _Stupefy!"_

--

Author's Notes:

Bleh. This chapter took forever, ended up changing multiple times (I had a weird, semi-humorous aside about Luna Seeing Tonks' and Harry's oath and becoming _quite_ jealous that I scrapped for being way too out of left field), and I'm still not completely happy with it.

Yes, I know it's a little odd that this weird, emotionally-damaged Harry is getting his freak on and screaming bloody murder at Dumbledore, when it doesn't quite mesh with his previous personality. I hope that I was able to adequately describe that while Harry may not feel the emotion much (if at all), he is perfectly capable of faking an emotion or echoing Tonks' own emotions when it would be prudent to- he's turned into a pragmatic kinda guy, after all.

Next chapter (assuming Tonks and Harry don't get a wild hair and go do something else again), there'll be Moody, Moony, and playing with sharp objects. Fun!

Once again, this was unbeta'd, and largely unspellchecked.


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